The Singing Guru by Kamla K. Kapur

Author:Kamla K. Kapur
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mandala Publishing
Published: 2024-02-27T00:00:00+00:00

“Then help me see with the eyes of the heart. I have served you for so long, and what do I get in return?”

As soon as the words left my mouth I could see how foolish I was for saying such a thing. I was so twisted and anguished that I broke down and began sobbing.

“You are loved and lovable, Mardana,” Baba said.

“Even though I am ugly, stupid, and without any virtue? Even though I am addicted to wine and drugs? Even though I am a fake, who sometimes pretends to feel the shabads he sings? Baba, you don’t know me. I act as if I feel everything I play and sing, but I am very insincere in my love for God. I am full of lust, rage, greed, and pride—a bundle of all the vices in the world. There are many things I have done that I have never told you about, and I have many dirty little secrets. Even now, even now…” I wanted to blurt out about the gems in my hems, but some deep-seated and unshakable greed and lust for wealth kept me from confessing. I cleverly took the sentence in another direction and said, “Even now I feel dirty.”

“How wonderful and wise, Mardana, that you admit this honestly! That you know what you are! Acknowledging your faults is the very first step toward becoming pure of heart!”

“But it’s no consolation to me now, when I feel this ugliness oozing out of me,” I replied.

“Give your ugliness and stupidity to the Pure One, Mardana. Turn to him, and he will embrace and love you, stupidity and all.”

“But I don’t deserve it! Tell me what I can do! Tell me just one thing I can do to evolve? I want to deserve your love!” I babbled. “Give me some specific instructions and I will try very hard to follow them faithfully, I promise!”

“Your own efforts will get you nowhere,” Baba smiled. “You have to ask for help at every step. Make room in your heart for love, Mardana. Take one conscious step away from the entanglements of maya and one conscious step toward the Beloved.”

“But I love maya! I love jewels and money and food, comforts and good clothes and shoes! I am not like you, Baba; I am just a human, in love with all aspects of this creation.”

“And indeed, what a beautiful creation it is!” Baba said.

“I fear that in turning toward God I will have to give up all the things I love and long for!”

“Mardana, Mardana. God bestows life. In His service you only gain. There is a multiplication, not a subtraction. God gives more of life, more and more and more! You can also come to the Creator through the things you love. Continue to love them, Mardana. Go ahead, love creation, taste all the pleasures of life, for He is the giver of them. But remember the Creator: remember the Giver and keep him close. Clasp him to your heart!”

Baba was ecstatic.

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